Where do you like to fantasise? Perhaps you’re in the bath relaxed, the warm water sending you into a deep state of trance. Slowly, you begin to touch yourself at the thought of your partner coming home to join you.
Maybe you’re on the train and there’s a gorgeous looking man opposite… you’re feeling particularly aroused at the prospect of being stuck underground in a carriage, just the two of you. It’s a summer’s day, you have a bead of sweat dripping between your cleavage. Your eyes trace his arms as you will him to make the move and take you.
A big part of female arousal is the ability to relax and focus on being in the moment. Fantasy helps that happen.
We all have different fantasies. Some of us get turned on by the thought of having sex in public, others love the idea of being dominated or feeling helpless.
When we begin to explore our sexual fantasies, we often surprise ourselves. Who knew I enjoyed being blindfolded and spanked by a stranger!?… Do I really want a threesome with another woman?
Sometimes our sexual fantasies can seem completely out of character to us.
Fantasy is a way of reinventing yourself in another world, and is a great way to explore your sexuality in a safe space. A space to explore those ‘forbidden’’ scenarios and completely revel in self pleasure.
Fantasies and kinks can be based on any number of factors, so it’s difficult to give you a definitive answer to why you’re aroused at certain sexual thoughts. What I can tell you is you’re normal.
That’s right, there’s nothing wrong with you. In fact, there are probably lots of other women who share your fantasies.
If you need a helping hand, here are some of the most popular female sexual fantasies. Take your pick:
Sexual Fantasy #1: Sex with a stranger
There’s something about getting down and dirty with a stranger that turns a lot of us on. Whether it’s the mystery involved in having a stranger touching your most intimate places or the care-free, no strings attached aspect of this encounter, this is a popular fantasy. For lots of women, the thought of taking control of their bodies is liberating and allows them to feel sexy and empowered.
Sexual Fantasy #2: Exhibitionism
We all enjoy an ego boost, and there’s nothing better than feeling desired. Knowing that someone is experiencing intense arousal just by looking at your exposed body is an exhilarating feeling. For many of us, this validation of attraction, or sexiness, is a huge turn on.
Sexual Fantasy #3: Inviting someone else into your relationship
Intimacy and desire in long-term relationships can often dwindle after time. There are a few steps you can take to rekindle this, but for some of us, adding some mystery to our sex lives is an arousing thought.
After being with the same partner for a long time, the thought of being intimate with someone new can be incredibly enticing. Even more so if your current partner is watching, or joining in.
Sexual Fantasy #4: Being Dominated
Thanks to the likes of 50 Shades of Grey, exploration of BDSM has become a huge trend. Whether you like being tied up, spanked, choked, or you enjoy a more intense variation of this fantasy such as sexual intimidation, the thought of losing complete control can be very arousing.
If you’re worried about being turned on by the thought of intense domination, take some comfort in knowing that self explorative fantasies are all consensual. You decide how far to go.
Sexual Fantasy #5: Dominating your partner
Alternatively, you might find that taking on a dominatrix role gets you going. Feelings of power can be very exciting, especially if you lack this sort of control in real life.
Perhaps you enjoy the thought of telling your partner exactly how and where to kiss, or nibble, or lick you. You want it to be all about you and your pleasure… and I can’t blame you!
Sexual Fantasy #6: Girl on Girl
Let’s face it – women are beautiful. Our curves make us generally more aesthetically pleasing than our male counterparts. Fantasising about another woman is incredibly popular, in fact research from PornHub found ‘lesbian’ was the most searched category for women.
This fantasy is all about sensuality; delicate touches, caressing and kissing.
A lot of mainstream pornography we find is directed at male pleasure, so a little sensuality is a breath of fresh air.
These are some of the common fantasies women tend to have, but there’s plenty more where that came from. Exploring sexual arousal in the safety of your own fantasy where you have complete control over what’s happening can lead to some of the most intense orgasms.
If you’re looking for some inspiration, Literotica is a great resource for erotic stories or if you’re more of a visual person, we’ve listed some of our favourite ethical porn sites that you could watch.