Confidence in the bedroom is one of the sexiest qualities you can possess. Unfortunately, both men and women often struggle with a lack of confidence in themselves, their bodies, and their attractiveness to their partners. Lack of confidence can lead to a host of difficulties, including:
- Inability to ask for what you want
- Struggle to display yourself for your partner
- Reduced enjoyment in the bedroom
- Difficulty expressing yourself sexually
When you notice an increase in confidence, on the other hand, not only will you feel more comfortable in your own skin, you just might discover that your partner finds it sexy and attractive, too. Try some of these tips for raising your overall confidence in the bedroom.
Tip #1: Get to Know Your Body
Getting to know your body isn't just about masturbating--though that's a great way to get a better idea of exactly what you like in the bedroom, which can, in turn, make it easier for you to tell your partner exactly what you want. Explore and experiment. Choose a time when you know you won't be interrupted and you have plenty of time. Then, try some of these tips.
Run your hands all over your body. Don't just explore your genitals or go straight to the "tried and true" spots or techniques that you know will bring you to orgasm quickly. Instead, touch yourself all over. Explore your body. Brush your hands over your inner thighs, your pelvic area, and your stomach. Run your hands up to your chest. Experiment. Discover which spots are unexpectedly sensitive. Even if you've done this in the past and think you know your body fairly well, take time out to do it again. You may surprise yourself by uncovering new things you enjoy!
Add a vibrator to your solo play. Using a vibrator is a great way to break down some of your inhibitions and get a better idea of exactly what you enjoy most. Like your hands, a vibrator can go anywhere. Explore and experiment with it. Crescendo is bendable and has unlimited vibration patterns. Use your hands to shape Crescendo into different positions and uncover new pleasure zones.
Fantasize. Where does your mind drift when you're touching yourself? What things do you imagine your partner doing to you? Your fantasies can tell you a great deal about the things that bring you pleasure. Consider sharing those fantasies with your partner to help them get a better idea of what will help turn you on.
Tip #2: Initiate Talk About Sex
Sex between you and your partner is a beautiful, intimate expression of your relationship. Unfortunately, many people struggle to talk about the things that bring them pleasure. If you're struggling to communicate your wants, your likes and dislikes, or your fantasies to your partner in the bedroom, try some of these strategies:
Talk about sex more often. You don't have to be naked in the bedroom to talk about sex--and in some cases, that can be the worst time to bring it up. Instead, try talking to your partner about things that you'd like to try long before the clothes come off. Have a glass of wine and chat about your sexual desires over dinner, or discuss what you'd like to do to one another on the drive home. Checking out the MysteryVibe playbook could give you plenty of things to discuss with your partner.
Start small. Try asking your partner for little things: harder, softer, more pressure, a different kind of touch. You may discover that starting with the little things improves your confidence when it comes to the big things.
Experiment together. Commit to trying something new together: something you'll have to experiment with. A new vibrator, including Crescendo, Tenuto, or Poco, could be the perfect opportunity for a little experimentation. Learn more about what vibration patterns and intensities appeal to you most. Since you're trying something new together, you'll need to communicate effectively in order to learn what both of you like most.
Do a little research. One of the hardest challenges to overcome in building confidence in the bedroom is a lack of information. With the wide range of material on the internet, you can learn a lot about your body without ever leaving the comfort of your home. Learn a few new techniques. Learn more about your body. Discuss what you've learned with your partner. Not only will you expand your ability to bring pleasure to both of you in the bedroom, you may learn new techniques or positions that you'd both love to try.
Tip #3: Eat Healthier
No, you don't have to give up your favorite desserts. It can be incredibly difficult to feel confident in the bedroom, however, when you're feeling bloated and out of sorts. If you know you have something big planned with your partner, you want to feel your best! Not only can healthy eating help reduce bloat, making you feel more comfortable in your own skin, but it may also help you maintain the energy you need for a mind-blowing sack session with your partner.
Avoid foods you know cause bloating. This might include dairy or heavy carbohydrates. You may also want to limit your alcohol intake.
Choose lean protein and healthy fruits and vegetables. These foods can help increase your energy and prevent you from feeling sleepy--which could, in turn, lead to more time and enjoyment with your partner.
Avoid foods that you know will cause gas. Beans, sweet potatoes, and cauliflower are all common culprits. If you know a specific food has caused gas for you in the past, you might want to avoid it when you know you have romantic plans with your partner later.
Tip #4: Get in Some Exercise
When you don't feel confident in your body, it can be hard to feel confident in the bedroom, where you're naked and more vulnerable than you are in many everyday situations. Exercise can have a number of benefits:
Helps you feel more comfortable in your own skin. You'll feel sexier when you make progress toward your goals, whether that's lifting heavier weights than you could previously or improving your mile time.
Helps you slim down. Many people struggle with feeling a little too heavy or unattractive. Regular exercise can help you slim down, in turn increasing your confidence levels.
Increases endorphins. In fact, exercising with your partner can be a great prelude to a sweaty session in the bedroom, too.
Improves your endurance. Not only will you last longer on the treadmill, elliptical, or trails, you may discover that you have more energy in the bedroom, too.
Try a steady, reliable exercise routine. You don't want to be so exhausted that you can't enjoy other activities with your partner, but you do want to feel good naked, improve your endurance, and notice a boost in your overall energy. Choose a type of exercise that you enjoy: something that makes you feel good about your body. For many people, that will translate to the bedroom, too.
Tip #5: Change Your Internal Monologue
One of the most important steps to improving your confidence in the bedroom is becoming aware of your self-talk. How do you talk to yourself--both about your body and about sex? Are you constantly tearing yourself down? Do you feel guilty for liking the things that you like or constantly uncomfortable with the things you want?
It's time to change your internal monologue. Your thoughts will translate to the way you act and feel in the bedroom, including the way you interact with your partner. Try some of these strategies:
Think about how you think about sex. Become aware of it. Are you telling yourself, even subconsciously, that it's not okay to want the things you want? Do you shy away from certain fantasies because you believe that they're taboo--even before you discuss them with your partner? Are you constantly negative about your body? If those thoughts take over your mind, they can be reflected in your bedroom activities.
Take charge of your thought patterns. Once you're aware of how you think about sex and your body, you can start to change it. Identify the thoughts that you most need to get rid of, then replace them. For example, if you usually think, "I don't like my body. I'm so fat!" change it to "Look at what my body can accomplish. I love how much pleasure it can bring my partner."
Enlist your partner's help. Let your partner know where your biggest hangups and challenges are. Discuss the places where you feel least confident. Often, your partner can help you increase your overall confidence and feel better about yourself--and unleash incredible freedom in the bedroom to go with it.
Confidence can be learned, and following these tips for becoming more confident in the bedroom is a great way to start.