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Sextech Salon with Sluttish: Confronting Slut Shame With Sexual Satisfaction

Last updated September 12, 2018
Sextech Salon with Sluttish; Fighting Slut Shame With Sexual Satisfaction

Introducing Vanina Tsoneva, founder of Sluttish, for our weekly Sextech Salon on fighting the stigmas that surround female sexual satisfaction!

Sluttish Overcoming Slut Shame with Sexual SatisfactionWhat is Sluttish and how did you get into it?

Sluttish is a project that fights slut shaming via the exploration of female sexuality. I got into it after living in New York, and then moving to Berlin. These are places where exploring your sexuality has a lot of outlets and you can experiment a lot.

While exploring I was becoming very frustrated with the current state of sexual education and the lack of resources for women to explore their sexuality. On top of all that I, and the women around me, were constantly slut shamed for being divorced, for not settling in one long term relationship, for pretty much all my sex and relationship choices.

I felt I needed a single and safe resource where I could learn about my own sexuality and pleasure. So I started Sluttish.

What was your sex education like growing up?

I haven’t had any sexual education. In Post-communist Bulgaria this wasn’t even an option. My parents never talked to me about sex, so I never had the safe sex conversation, or even a slight mention of what is sexual pleasure.

Sex wasn’t something I talked to my friends in Bulgaria neither. Probably this is the reason I didn’t know masturbation was a thing and I was practicing “mind masturbation” (thats my own term which means just imagining things and orgasming from that) well into my late 20s.

via GIPHY

When it comes to sex, what are a few things you wish everyone knew?

Sex is not only intercourse (and to make it even more narrow – the vaginal penetration in heterosexual couples), and it doesn’t always have to end with one or all partners orgasming.

Sex could be a dom/sub play that lasts for hours. Sex could be the energy between a rigger and a model. In shibari the person whos doing the tying is called a rigger, and the “receiving” person is a model.

Sex could be the gentle touch and energy flow in a threesome.

There are so many options, why would you limit yourself with intercourse? Especially now – when we don’t necessarily connect sex with reproduction – we can really experience what sex means.

What is your vision for the future of Sluttish?

I would really like for Sluttish to be a community and a resource for everyone who identifies as female. I love what I’m seeing with a lot of people in their early 20s at the moment. How they are open about their sexuality and they celebrate it with a certain pride, which is absolutely great.

I would like to see more people doing this and would love to provide the tools for them to get there.

What are the key trends you’re seeing at the moment that influence your work?

As I said, the fact that women are getting more open and curious about their own pleasure is definitely a welcomed and needed trend. Hopefully this is much more than just a trend. I also care a lot about technology and its future in terms of human pleasure, sexual education, and relationships.

We, as developers are responsible for this technology to be inclusive, to not imply any specific stereotypes, to provide unbiased information.

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had since starting to work in sextech?

How many people are actually involved! It is not a small community, and its growing even bigger. I just love how many women are stepping it up, and taking the responsibility to educate and provide resources about sex.

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What do you think is the next big step for sextech?

I want to see tech actually providing tools for people to explore and enjoy sex in a safe and pleasant manner. This might mean having voice assistants providing simple sex ed, or AI teaching consent and non verbal communication.

I think we will be going even beyond teledildonics and connected sex toys very soon. We will be seeing even more creative and complex solutions for sexual problems.

Another thing I would love to see tech being used for more is the safety of sex workers. Where legislation is not providing any assistance (and sometimes even making things worse – such as regarding SESTA/FOSTA) tech can definitely step up and develop mechanisms that provide safety.

Yes! We are all about safety & sex positivity here at MysteryVibe, so thank you Vanina. It’s been great chatting with you!

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