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The High Notes: Baby Gender, Fake Orgasms, Sex Regret

Last updated September 5, 2018

The High Notes –  Issue #30

This issue, we’re talking about:

Baby gender  –  Japan  –  Third trimester toys  –  Breasts & orgasm  –  Faking O’s  –  Sex regret  –  Touch  –  Sex robots  –  Beautiful adult entertainment  –  Letting go 


STACCATO – short and sharp, quick reads

– For the first time, a baby has been born without a gender designation. Their parent aims to let them discover it for themselves over time.

– Nearly one third of Japanese people are entering their 30s without any sexual experience, a new study has found. The country is facing a steep population decline as youngsters abstain from sex.

–  Can you use sex toys during your third trimester? Tl;dr : Yes.

A PIACERE  – enjoy at your pleasure

–  What happens to your breasts as you orgasm? One study found that they can enlarge up to 15% of their original size during arousal.

–  It’s not often we read something in praise of faking orgasms. But this piece from Refinery29 was quite refreshing, in particular this sentence:

“Making orgasm the sole goal leaves out the fact that the whole experience can be pleasurable, and stops us from having more nuanced conversations about sexual pleasure that go beyond demanding orgasms.”

–  In this somewhat raw article, Verily discusses the increasingly popular topic of “sex regret”

– The negative feelings associated with sexual encounters that do not satisfy at least one person.

–  From the writers of critically acclaimed Fleabag comes the play Touch – a modern piece about sex, connection and control. Showing in London until August 26th.

ADAGIO – longer reads, dive a little deeper

–  A new report on sex robotics cast the spotlight on the need to consider the repercussions of child sex robots. One of the more nuanced pieces of analysis came from expert Dr Kate Devlin. If you only read one thing – read that.

–  This is a fantastic article on BBC3 about the student who is making beautiful adult entertainment.

–  A must-read: how I finally learned to let go and enjoy oral sex. I’d be really interested to hear from any people with a penis who also find it difficult to enjoy oral sex, but feel pressure to enjoy or climax from it.


I’ve seen a bit of a theme in articles I’ve read over the past couple of weeks :  some great pieces on sexual freedom and the ability to let go and enjoy something.

I’m incredibly thankful we live at a time when society is opening up to discussing sexuality more broadly, especially around female desire & pleasure.

Probably the most shocking thing I read was this piece on sexual anorexia – the concept of sexual deprivation due to fear, anger, anxiety or the need to create safe spaces. It’s something I think I’ll try to learn more about.

Let’s keep elevating the discussion on pleasure.

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